Most days I am an early riser due to my work schedule; but this particular morning just happen to be my day to work late and I enjoy sleeping in on these days. I had wake up shortly after Victoria left for class, which was around 6:30am. William was in the shower, Kristina was doing her hair and Samantha was already dressed and was lying on her bed. Everyone was in a good mood and getting themselves ready for the day.
So I made my way downstairs to the dining room to make my coffee. I sat in the living room with my hot coffee getting ready to go over my do list when all of a sudden I heard ‘MOM!’ It was Samantha and she was one hot-tempered 13-year-old looking for her black boots.
“You need to text Victoria. I think she is wearing my black boots.” Samantha demanded me.
I looked over at her and informed her that “You need to ask not tell.”
She looked over to me with a little less attitude, “Mommy can you PLEASE find out if Victoria is wearing my black boots?’.
Instead of causing another argument in my home, I texted Victoria asking what shoes she had on.
She replied, “black boots, why”.
I just informed her I was looking for my tennis shoes. Like I mentioned, I did not want to cause an argument.
Then I let Samantha know that Victoria does have the black boots and that you will have to find another pair of shoes to wear.
Oh my sweet William, I thought Samantha’s head was going to exploded. She is yelling and screaming over the black boots and how her Converse are at school. So she began looking for the brown boots and founds them on Kristina’s feet. Which then started an argument between the two of them. During this whole ordeal, my coffee is getting cold, I am being to get hot, and I am cleaning the back porch looking for shoes. William is oblivious of what is going on due to his headset on and my husband has already left for work; so no help from either of them.
As I am making my way up stairs, I can hear Samantha still throwing a fit, refusing to go to school because she has no shoes to wear. I pulled Kristina to the side and asked her to be the bigger person and wear her Converse instead of the brown boots today. Kristina might have garbled under breathe a little, but she went head took the boots off and changed into something else. I thanked Kristina for changing and gave her a big hug. I informed little Miss Samantha that going forward, please put together all articles of clothing the night before and that includes the shoes.
Maybe I was wrong for asking Kristina to wear different shoes for Samantha can wear the brown boots. I guess I have learned to pick my battles. Samantha is a lot like I was in my teenage years, suborned and determined to get her way. Where Kristina is a lot like me now, cooperative and willing to help others (most of the time).
I wish I can tell you that Samantha’s whole attitude changed and she apologized to everyone in the house for the way she acted that morning, but she didn’t. But what I did get was ‘I love you, mom’ as I dropped her off at school.
Raising my tribe has been ever-changing process. What might work on one child, might not work for another. All four of my children are different; their personalities, their learning abilities, their interests, how they cope with life. There is one thing that remains the same, is my love for all of them. Even when there are moments like that morning, dealing with a hot-tempered teenager and cold cup of coffee.