It was September 1997 and I was 18, fresh in college at Peirce and Billy was 27, looking for a fresh start in Camarillo. My best friend at the time had set the two of us up on a blind date and I will tell you that it was love at first. Billy was a smooth talker and I was loving every minute of it.
Fast forward four kids later, in and out of prison three times, missing two births of our children, and one broken-hearted wife. The kids and I packed up and headed to the MidWest without him for our own fresh start. He was sitting in prison and I needed a change. We left Southern California in July of 2004 to start a new life in Southern Illinois. Billy still had three more months left of time plus six months of parole.
April of 2005, Billy was cleared to leave California and we began our new life together in the MidWest and it was a good life. Our big family was growing closer together and to God.
Until some time past and Meth had crossed Billy’s path once again. He had been cleaned for so long and promised me he would never use it again. I knew something was going on but he would just blame the ‘new’ meds the doctors had put him on. I knew better. I lived this life in Southern California and I did not want to re-live it in Southern Illinois.
On December 16th, 2018 Billy admitted to using again and the last time was on the 10th. He told me that he loved me and that he can’t keep it from me any longer. Deep down inside of me, I wanted to yell and scream at him but instead, I told him that I love him too and that I am disappointed in him after all these years of being clean. Come to find out later, he had been struggling with this addiction for the last couple years hiding it from me; like I mentioned before I knew better but did not face that part of my life.
Over the course of the next couple of days, the two of us really did not talk. On Tuesday, he took off for the day; no clue where he went or when he would be back. I had car problems and needed his help but had no way to get a hold of him. My oldest had to pick me from work that early evening. Still trying to get a hold of Billy; I inform our children that I am done and kicking their dad out. Billy had already told the two older kids about his relapse with Meth when he told me on Sunday.
Finally, Billy walks through the front door about 930pm at night.
I asked him, “Where have you been all day? I had car problems and needed your help.”
He replied, “I was with Bill Webb; his cancer is back and he is not doing too good.”
All of a sudden, I felt my heart softened. Bill was a neighbor in Bridgeport for over 10 years. An older gentleman that we pretty much feed 5 nights a week, took him to appointments, or grocery shopping. Our family had grown very close with Bill and we have not seen much of him when we had moved to Lawrenceville 4 years ago. (I found out later that he lied where he was at, Bill called me two months after he Billy passed away and informed me that the last time he saw Billy was Thanksgiving.)
The next day, Wednesday I was off work and it was my oldest day off too. The two younger girls had an eye appointment in the afternoon and we were scheduled to pick up our new puppy today too. So it was a pretty normal busy day for us.
So, while the three other kids were at school, I began to work on laundry and cleaning my kitchen. About 11am, I had made my way upstairs to gather some more dirty clothes for the next load of laundry. Billy was sitting on the edge of the bed in our room, playing a game on his laptop. I asked if he would like some lunch; and informed me that he was not hungry, but if I can bring him the house phone next time I came upstairs. I told him when I come up for the next load of laundry I will bring it up.
Around 11:20am, I heard the bed shift in my bedroom and did not think anything of it. Our bed had wheels and our room has hardwood floors; it could have been a number of things. About 20 minutes passed and I made my way back upstairs with the house phone in hand to give to Billy. I found Billy face down on our bed, look as he had fallen asleep but not his normal position.
I called for him, no response.
I nudged him, no response.
He was not breathing.
My world had just stopped…
I did what I could. The EMT did what they could. It was too late.
At 1:15 pm on Wednesday, December 19th William Lee Johnson Sr. was pronounced dead. His heart had stopped due to Methamphetamine in his system.
Our life together had been a hard life. We had some bad years at the beginning and some bad years in the end, but the in-between years were the greatest of our lives. Watching our children grow, spending quality time with each other, enjoying life together. Being in love with someone with an addiction is a life I would not wish on anyone else. It has made me who I am today. I am a strong woman, who has learned to lean on God, family, and friends in all parts of this life I have been given.
Thousands of people die each year from a drug overdose. They all come from different walks of life. Here in the States, we continue to experience the highest drug-related mortality in the world, accounting for 1 in 4 drug-related deaths globally. https://www.unodc.org/wdr2017/field/Booklet_2_HEALTH.pdf
International Overdose Awareness Day is a global event which is held every year on August 31st. The goal is to raise awareness of overdose and to reduce the stigma of a drug-related death. But it also acknowledges the grief by families and friends remember their loved ones that have died as a result of a drug overdose. Overdose death is preventable. https://www.overdoseday.com
littlebitty in the midwest 